Since I have become a full-time, stay-at-home mom, relationships in our family have needed to change. I am becoming the teacher for homework needs, the errand runner for everyone in the family, the maid for all of the clean-up, the enforcer of family rules, the organizer of schedules, and any other support needed to run a family. I do a majority of this alone and other times I enlist help from family and friends. My life revolves around my family now instead of my job. As my family has become my job. I find that I need to remind myself to take breaks, but sometimes it is just not possible. For example, the last two weeks I have had 1-2 kids sick every day. It is exhausting. A full night’s sleep is just not possible and most outside activities need to be canceled. There is just not enough time in the day to keep up. You find yourself feeling like the tree in the picture above small and covered with ice surrounded by all of these tall trees that are barely touched by the snow. And you wonder, “Did I do something to deserve this?”
My relationships with my parents and in-laws have changed as well. I no longer need someone to pick up and drop off my kids at school or take them to their different activities or watch them during the day when not at school. I am learning how to manage my kids’ schedules all on my own. It has definitely been a challenge. I have forgotten about an early release day when I needed to pick up my oldest at an earlier time after school but all 3 girls are still alive. I am learning to appreciate what I had before and what I have now. I feel like I have not given each grandparent an opportunity to spend time with my kids. The weight and balance has been off (excuse the pilot term – I am married to one). I feel like this is my opportunity to make up for lost time and apologize for not seeing the imbalance before.
The amazingness about God is that He loves us right where we are at. No matter our shortcomings or absence of discernment, He will continue to love us. We do not need to feel like the defenseless tree covered in ice surrounded by those stronger than us. He made us to stand out among others and we need to accept that calling.
Isaiah 43:1-4 (NCV) says, “1 Now this is what the Lord says, He created you, people of Jacob; he formed you, people of Israel. He says ‘Don’t be afraid, because I have saved you. I have called you by name, and you are mine. 2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you. When you cross rivers, you will not drown. When you walk through fire, you will not be burned, nor will the flames hurt you. 3 This is because I, the Lord, am your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior…4 Because you are precious to me, because I give you honor and love you, I will give other people in your place; I will give other nations to save your life. 5 Don’t be afraid because I am with you…”